He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
