Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
