Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
