Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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