Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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