ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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