Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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