Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
