this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
