Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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  (804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32
  Replies (20) Good night (4614) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

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  (847): i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick. http://tfl.nu/gssh
  Replies (20) Good night (3899) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.

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  (+44): Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint. http://tfl.nu/r0bi
  Replies (25) Good night (5949) Bad night (3023)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up

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  (818): his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up http://tfl.nu/dywv
  Replies (13) Good night (1200) Bad night (4942)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

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  (716): I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle? http://tfl.nu/vxb0
  Replies (15) Good night (1201) Bad night (3586)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.

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  (610): Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever. http://tfl.nu/x9w2
  Replies (33) Good night (1098) Bad night (4404)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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  (618): She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover. http://tfl.nu/cpec
  Replies (13) Good night (4267) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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  (416): Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy http://tfl.nu/lckr
  Replies (15) Good night (1844) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  (215): Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/cv1y
  Replies (13) Good night (2192) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him

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  (519): he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him http://tfl.nu/dkoo
  Replies (3) Good night (1329) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.

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  (620): I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify. http://tfl.nu/e3b2
  Replies (4) Good night (1330) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.

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  (832): god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink. http://tfl.nu/rrfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.

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  (281): I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed. http://tfl.nu/u1zj
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag

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  (425): The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag http://tfl.nu/niwp
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

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  (505): you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...? http://tfl.nu/tcmz
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (355)

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