So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
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We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever