it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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