Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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