She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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