I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
