I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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