having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have aggressive nipples.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
