bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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