I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
