ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
