Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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