Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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