It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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