if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
