I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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