I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
