super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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