Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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