I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
