...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
