Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
