The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Congratulations! We have a period
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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