My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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