my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
