it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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