She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
