You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There was a lot of him and a little penis
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
