yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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