well I can't set my house on fire every night
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
