How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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