Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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