discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
