so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
