Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
