Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
