I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ladies don't puke and tell
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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