he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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