would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
