she was so not down for the gang bang
You smell like stripper and shame
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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