another moral hangover. fuck.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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