how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
