dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
