I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
