if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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