oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
