Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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