Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
